Tinfoil Hat Wearing Candidate Wins 39% of Vote

This wasn’t a headline in Wednesday’s Pittsburgh Post-Gazette, but it should have been. I was, after all, the only candidate for state office endorsed by the Keystone Cannabis Coalition and who advocated a return to the gold standard.

The 45th district is a lonely one for Republicans, who comprise about 25% of the registered voters. That I nearly cracked 40% of the vote with an openly libertarian campaign is a win in my books. As for the 60% who preferred a stalwart defender of government-owned liquor stores, well, I will not be inviting you for dinner anytime soon.

Many have asked about my plans for the future. Will I run again? Can you beat Tim Murphy in arm wrestling? Do I have a beard guy or do I trim it myself? For now, those are my secrets. But as time progresses, I will share my thoughts on these and many issues that you didn’t even know were issues.

Stay tuned.

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